Fear of Loss
by Joskers
Summary: Mitsuki is deeply upset at making Takuto turn into a ghost so she tries to kill herself and Takuto saves her. but what happens when all she has goes away? MitsukiXtakuto
1. choices

Fear of Loss By:Kaila Schubert Based on a Manga by Arina Tanemura :I do not own Fullmoon in anyway. I am just writing a story based on those characters.

Told in Mitsuki's point of view

Ever since the night in the rain Takuto has not stopped his pursuit of my heart. The only difference is that I'm not fighting him as hard as I used to. I'm Scared. Eichi ment so much to me for the longest time and now I'm afraid that I'm losing his memory.I don't think I am that much though because I'm still worried about it. Right? It's kind of scary. I never thought that I'd be able to fall in love with someone again.

But Takuto is losing his memory. I don't know if I'd be able to deal with another loss. At first it was just a couple and no difference could be seen, but then as time moved on it became that he got them more and more often and his pain hurt me so. Everytime a memory comes to him he says it feels as though an invisible source is pushing all sides of his skull and it as though his head is going to explode. Then after the pain it was first only his hand that was translucent, but it has turned into almost half of his body. You can still see those parts of his body but they are very faint.

I already lost Eichi I don't think that I could deal with losing Takuto also. I'm sitting outside the lighthouse on the cliff looking over the ocean looking down at the jagged rocks below thinking it would make everything easier if I just jumped and ended it all now. I know the reason why I won't let Takuto in is because I'm to afraid to be hurt if he does leave me. Maybe if I just closed my eyes and pushed off it would make things easier. Even for just a few seconds.even if I could just...and with that I pushed off. But before I could even fall a few feet, Takuto caught me and flew back down to the beach to the right of the cliff.

Told in Takuto's point of view

Where could she be? I haven't been able to find her. I haven't seen her for the past three days. There's only one place I haven't looked and we haven't been to that beach since I first started my assignment with her, 11 months ago. She was going to die in a month. I have to figure out what I'm going to do to keep her alive. When I came 11 months ago to stop the person who was going to prevent her death that day, if i'd only known it was me. If only I'd known that I'd fall in love with Mitsuki. If only... There's too many if only's to think about.

As I flew closer to tthe beach I coulkd see a person standing on a cliif over some sharp rocks holding on to the lighthouse behind her. I knew it Mitsuki instantly. Don't ask how I just did, it was just instinct I guess. That' not what I was wondering about at the moment. My question is why is she piering over a cliff?  
But only too soon I got my answer for she pushed herself off the lighthouse edge and tumbled over the edge. She didn't get too far before I caught her and flew to the beach near by the cliff. Another if only to worry about.

Told in Mitsuki's point of view

"It's not the answer Mitsuki." Takuto set me gently down on the ground with a worried look on his face.

"I know." It was the truth. I had known many shini-gami that regretted everyday having killed themselves. But sometimes hurt gets in the way of common sense.Then why?"

"Because it would give me peace for even just a few seconds."

"Mitsuki, I know it's hard to deal with the fact that Eichi's gone, and i'm sure the fact that I love you isn't helping you concentrate on moving on but killing yourself isn't going to make the pai..."

"That's not it." I had to stop him before he got to far.

"Well, what is it then?"

"It's just that I am moving on..and.. well... it's just that...I'm afraid to admit that I'm moving on because that would be admiting that i've fallen in love with you...which wouldn't be bad.. I'm not saying that.. I'm just saying that if..if you did turn into a ghost.." By this time I was crying so hard and babbling on into nothingness that I didn't need to finish my sentence.

"I love you Mitsuki. Right now we just need to worry about you, not me. I'll be fine. I'm still here aren't I?" Even though he still had the worried tone in his voice I could see the happiness in his eyes at hearing that I loved him back.

"Yeah..for now. How much longer will it last?"

"It will last long enough."

"Long enough for what?" What did he have planned?

"To get you healthy."

"What good will that do? And even if you did forget and I lived you'd leave me anyway and get in trouble. Wouldn't it just be easier if I just.." I trailed off and looked over to the cliff. Takuto seemed to understand what I meant.

Told in Takuto's point of view

She just doesn't get it.

"What good would that do?"

"Then I would be closer to you. I would be able to save you. I'd have more resources. It doesn't help that Meroko's gone to the underworld. We shouldn't have to hide like this anyway. And anyway if I died now we wouldn't get in as much trouble and you'd quit remembering everything. It just seems like it would solve all of our problems."

"You mean all of your problems, don't you?" I saw through the shield over her face to the pain and worry in her eyes.

"That's not what I said."

"But it's what you ment. It would make it so that you could jsut go over all of your troubles. You wouldn't have to deal with any pain you might have to deal with. And why do you think that if you died I'd stop remebering things?"

"Because it's my fault."

"Who told you that?"

"Meroko." Mitsuki said again looking at the cliff. I wish she would stop doing that. "Don't get mad at Meroko for that. It's true that it's my fault I pryed and it made it so..." She trailed off and walked towards the water. "I made it so that you would remember everything. You'll remember more I know it..."

Owwe. This isn't good I'm starting to get the prickly feeling in the back of my head that told me that a memory was coming back to me.

Told in Mitsuki's point of view

I turned around to see Takuto bent over in pain grasping his head. This is all my fault.

"It's another memory isn't ?"

Takuto nodded, it was to hard for words to come out of his mouth I could tell.

"I'm sorry. I'll go get help." I satarted to get up but before I could stand up Takuto grabbed my hand and shook his head.

"I... need you... here." He managed to whisper out before a scream erupted from his lips before he passed out into my lap. I situated him on my lap so he was comfortable and stroked his head while I watched his face contort in different emotions as his memory went on.

Told from Takuto's point of view 

Ring Ring Ring

I walked over to the phone and answered, a little girls voice came through the headset.

"Is Takuto there?" the voice asked me quietly sounding a little nervous.

"This is him speeking. Whom am I speeking to?" I knew who it was but I felt I needed to make her feel a litttlt grown up.

"I don't know if you remember me but I'm Aoi's daughter Mitsuki."

"Hi Mitsuki. Why are you calling?"

"Well you said that if I ever needed help I could call."

I wonder what wrong. I hope she's okay. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go to an orpahnage soon. "

"I know, Mr Wakaoji told me." She's frightened."Are you worried?"

"Yes."

I wanted to know what happened but I was being brought back to conscienceness. It was like watching a movie that you wanted to see the ending to but you had to leave early.

Told from Mitsuki's point of view

I looked down a half an hour later to seee tha Takuto's eyes finally fluttering open. He tried to sit up rubbing his forehead.

"No you don't. Just lay down for a bit. Take a rest ." I tried to keep a smile on my face. Unfortunately the smiledidn't keep the tears from falling down my face. Operation: Cheer Takuto Up was failing.

He reached up and stroked my face. "I'm okay." The only problem was I couldn't feel his hand on my skin anymore because it had grown too faint.

"I'm sorry." I said as I reached up to the cheek he was trying to stroke and my hand passed right through his.

Told from Takuto's point of view

"Meroko's wrong.It's not your fault." I said later as we sat in the hidden cove we were living in for the time being. Ever since Meroko had gone to the underworld and told our boss where Mitsuki is we've been hiding so that no one else can take her soul.

"I don't feel like talking anymore." Mitsuki ansered me.

We were situated so that we were sitting against one of the walls of the cove. She was sitting between my legs resting on me,what's left of my arms around her to keep her warm. As I looked down at her I could tell she didn't want to talk because she was tired of argueing. I could tell she thought this was her fault and she didn't want to start anything for fear that it might bring on another memory.

"Are you getting tired?" I said as I yawned. Lately I was getting tired a lot more aften. It was okay. I tried my best not to get Mitsuki upset. This was actually the first night she has shown any emotion at all towards me in a long time.

I had told her a long time ago that I was in love with her. She had told me then that she wouldn't be able to fall in lov e again after how Eichi died. Ever since then she had been a little distant. Now I understand that she was just hiding how she felt because she didn't want to lose someone again. But I don't think she understands how happy she made me tonight by confessing her feelings. The jump my heart had made when she said those words.. well let's just say that it made me pretty happy.

"Not really. But I do believe that you should get some sleep.You need your rest." Mitsuki looked at me and smiled.

"Just because I got a memory back does not give you permission to trerat me like I'm two." I smirked back at her.

"Now don't talk to mommy that way or elso I'mm have to put you in timeout." She gave me a kiss on my forehead and I pulled her into a passionate kiss on the mouth. "Now that's not going to help you save energy. "

"Well it's not like you don't need your rest also."

"Don't worry, I'm just going to go on a short walk."

"Okay but don't stay out to late."

Told by Meroko's point of view.

As I stood on top of the lighthouse hanging on to the railing thoughts were rolling through my head. A lot of What if's. I had a feeeling that if I hadn't gone to the underworld with Izumi everything would be different. It might of been better for Mitsuki and Takuto, but it would of definately been worse for me. I wouldn't of had Izumi. There was also the pure pleasure of watching there pain. That look on Mitsuki's face when she kept staring at the cliff, even after Takuto had found her, was priceless. The pure pain I was causing her was so entertaining.These thoughts made it so a smile appeared on my face.

" What are smiling about?" A voice asked as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

I turned around inside of them to see Izumi. "Torture." was my only answer I could think of to get that evil smirk on his face that I love soooooo much.

"Oh, the best pasttime of all." Izumi said as he leaned in and gave me a kiss.

I turned back around and looked down at the beach again. " I know where Mitsuki and Takuto are."

"How?" Izumi asked. His arms still around me, his head laying against the top of mine.

"She's losing it you know. She tried to ki ll herself earlier. Stupid Takuto had to save her though. After that he got another memory back and they headed somewhere. I decided to follow them and low and behold they led me right to there "house"." I made quotation marks with my fingers before and after I said house.

"Now that the mischivious Meroko I like." He nibbled my ear and I turned around. Torturing Mitsuki and Takuto could wait.

Told from Izumi's point of view.

I looked down at my Meroko laying on the ground sleeping cuddled inside my coat. I couldn't help but smile. I had made a vow a long time ago that I would never let anyone in my heart. I've been in the soul capturing for a long time. When I had gotten my memory's back 5 yrs ago I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone near enough to me for them to disappoint me. But somehow this girl, no make that woman, had gotten in no problem. I don't understand it. I had made it so clear to all of my parteners that I was an independent being. No matter how much they pestered or bothered me I'd never do more than kick there butts. I'd never actaually do what they wanted. For a very long time I kept my hold on it with Meroko too, but it still came to a halt way too soon for me. Like forever to soon.

As we spent more time together I felt the pain she had felt. I knew she hadn't remembered her past yet even though she was a full fledged shinigami, but I knew that deep down inside she still remember what had happened to her. It showed too. You could tell she had trust issues. For a long time she fought falling in love also, until finally we came to trust only one person and that was eachother.

I walked to the railing and stared down at the oceon . It was pretty special looking at night. I watched only the ocoen for a few moments before a figure walked into the scenery. It was Mitsuki. I think I'll fly down and have a little chat with her.

"Hello Mitsuki. How are you this evening?"

Told from Takuto's point of view.

I woke in the middle of the night ot see that Mitsuki still wasn't back from her walk. I know she wasn't tired but I still think that I should go check on her. I go up and walked down to the beach by the lighthouse.

Told from Meroko's point of view

I woke up to Izumi shaking me gently awake.

"So I have to wake up already?" I asked leaning against him.

"Unfortunately sweetie you do. You have a boyfriend that loves torture a little to much and unfortunately he just messed with a girl who also has a loving boyfriend who would hurt you to get back at me. I'm not saying that you couldn't take care of yourself, there's just no reason for you to use the little energy you have left right?"

Whenever Izumi started babling it ment that he was worried about something. There has only been 3 times I have seen him do it and they were all because of me. Lately I haven't been up to full power. We haven't figured out why yet, but it was slowly taking it's toll. I been enjoying sleeping more often then I used to and can't fight as well.

I stood up to get dressed and looked down at the beach to see an unconscience Mitsuki laying on the beach.

"Izumi you didn't. I has just found out where they were staying TODAY!" I glared at him for a moment, rolled my eyes and walked away.

"Oh come on Meroko. You know I hate when you do that. " Izumi called from outside as I was dressing inside the light house.

"That's why I did it." I whispered to myself.

Told from Takuto's point of view ( a few hours later.)

Mitsuki had come in to conscienceness about a half an hour after I brought her to a new hide out far away from the beach. She got up immediately and started to clean. The place now looked some what habitable, but Mitsuki looked a lot more worn. The cuts and scratches from Izumi's mace could still be seen. Every shinigame had there own soul capturing weapon. Meroko's: a whip, Izum i's: a mace, and mine: a classic sword. She had left quet a while ago to get firewood and not returned.

It didn't take me very long to find her. She was standing right outside the opening of the cave , staring at the stars, with the firewood at her feet. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me. Yes, she asked ME! She was justed attacked by a POWERFUL spiritual being and she was asking me if I was okay. I couldn't help but smile at how cuite she was.

"I would feel a little better.." (Yep, she cut me off.)

"I know. I'm trying to think of way to stop the memory's."

"That's not what I was going to say." I whispered into her ear. "I was going to say I'd be better if my girlfriend hadn't almost died twice today."

She turned around in my arms and put her arms around my neck. "Who said I was your girlfriend."

(You can tell that your life is an adventure when you care more about whether your someones boyfriend/girlfriend rather than how many times they almost died that day.)

"I did."

"Well that's a little cocky isn't it?"

"Who said I wasn't a cocky jerk." I smirked.

Told from Mitsuki's point of view

"I did." And with that I leaned in and kisssed him with all my love for him.

We broke away and he smiled at me. He pointed his head towards the cave and I nodded. It was hard to believe that just earlier that night I was too scared to tell him my true feeling. It seems to me we had been together for our whole lives. Long enough that we understood eachother to the point where we are going in the cave to become one.

(In the morning.)

I woke up with Takuto's arms around me. I turned around in them and looked at his sleeping face (or so I thought.)

"It's hard to pretend I'm sleeping while your watching." He said with a smile, his eyes still closed.

I leaned over and kissed both of his eyelids. " Good Morning."

He opened his eyes, his smiling widening."How are you this morning?"

"Fine" I was still feeling a little breathless. Takuto had not been feeling well enough to turn me sixteen for a while. I have been having a little more trouble breathing then normal, but it wasn't bad enough to the point where I nedded to get Takuto worried.

"Well that's good." He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "We should probably get moving. I don't want them finding us before I've got a plan on how to get them back."

"Wouldn't that just make it worse to try and get them back? I mean I know they weren't the nicest people but it's not like they did it for no good reason. To them we betrayed them. I don't think we should worry about it. We should just try to solve our own problems. There's enough of them without adding any."

"But Mitsuki.."

"Let's just stay quiet for a litlle while. Okay? Let them make the next move."

"Is that what you really want to do?" Takuto asked me.

"It would be the best thing to do in this situation."

Takuto leaned over and gave me a kiss on my forehead again. "If it's what you really want to do." 


	2. dreams

Chap 2

Told in Mitsuki's point of view

I walked out of the cave to go for a little walk. Takuto had fallen back to sleep a little while ealier. I guess he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. I didn't either but I wasn't able to sleep. Why? Well for one I was too excited. Two, when I lay down I can't breath very well. It wasn't anything too bad but I just coughed until it hurt my stomach is all. I was usually able to fix it with a quick drink of water.

As I walked throught the woods I heard a strange noise in the background. Turning around I saw Izumi behind me holding his mace. I ran as hard as I could but he kept right behind me. The chase went on for a while, my breath coming in very short gasps now. I would have kept going except for the fact that a sight in front of me made me come to a quick halt.

In front of me Takuto. A purple cloud around him, gulping him into oblivion. This sight made the last of my breath leave me and I fainted. As my eyes closed I felt myself fall into a deep hole.

The next thing I know I open my eyes to see a very worried Takuto looking at me. (In case your a complete moron-it was a dream.)

Told in Meroko's point of view.

"Please talk to me Meroko." Izumi begged me for the 500th time from behind me.

"Why should I? I wore myself out trying to find where they live and what do you do? You attack her. FOR NO REASON!"

"I said sorry like 400 times."

I turned around and stared at him. "I think it was only 399. I have a 400 time limit." I said with a smile.

"I'm sorry." Izumi said and leaned in and gave me a kiss.

"Your forgiven...this time." He leaned in to kiss me but to bug him i dodged under. "I would, but I have to go find where they are again because somebody, I'm not saying who, made it so they left." And with that I walked away to go and find where they were hiding now.

Told in Takuto's point of view

I looked down on the sleeping figure in my arms. She looked so peaceful. It was the first time that look on her face had appeared in a long time. but then it went a way. Her eyes snapped open and she became short of breath.

"Mitsuki calm down. I don't have enough strength to turn you into a sixteen year old. Calm down."

Mitsuki breathed deep trying to calm down. She leaned against Takuto fear stricken and started to sob uncontrolably.

"Shh Mitsuki it's okay." Takuto held her close. "What's wrong."

"Don't leave me Takuto. Please don't leave me." 


End file.
